Wednesday, July 29, 2009

MacKenziesaurus Considers the T-shirt

Los Angeles has left me broke, hungry, and still at the bottom of the acting pool. LA has taken just about everything and has, like the English King, all but instituted primae noctis. Sorry, future wife, but LA gets you first. However, whatever LA may take from me, he can never take MY LOVE OF NONSENSICAL T-SHIRTS!!! I visit a few sites almost every day and wonder at their user-designed shirts. Cool shirts are one thing, but cool shirts are usually pretty expensive, right? SURPRISE! The sites I visit can offer shirts for less than ten dollars minus shipping. Oh, okay, cheap and nonsensical t-shirts are cool and everything, but we're all familiar with those lame play-on-word shirts you see on every site so...WRONG AGAIN! These sites offer shirts that are original and only available for 24 hours. That is correct, every day a new and exclusive shirt is offered on these web-wonderkins that no one the day before, nay, nor the following days to come shall revel in. It's like being special when you really aren't very special at all.

http://shirt.woot.com/
WOOT! You can't help but love this site! New shirt every day at ten dollars a shirt with free standard shipping. This site also offers a coupon a day for various other shirt sites hidden in the interwebs. Dig in.

http://www.teefury.com/
Also offers a new shirt every day, this time for nine dollars with two dollar standard shipping. Shirts are user/artist designed with an interview with said user/artist ordaining the right hand site of the site.

http://www.uneetee.com/
Less exclusive, new design every Monday at twelve dollars a shirt and a ten dollar previous design offer that renews every day. Great designs though.

http://200nipples.com/index.php
This shirt wins the award for hilarious name and intriguing concept. Updated every three weeks or so with a new design, the site offers 100, and only 100, shirts of that design priced per number. Example, if I luck out and land shirt #5, it will cost $5 and will have the number 5 on the back. After shirt 30, this site becomes unusable because I refuse to pay that much for a shirt.

Monday, July 27, 2009

MacKenziesaurus Weighs the Ins and Outs of Rating Movies

So, Tyrannosaurus Kyle pointed me on to this new site that is in it's beta testing phase called "Flickchart." Flickchart is simple: It shows you two movie posters next to each other, and you choose the movie you liked more; If you haven't seen the movie, you click the "I haven't seen it" button, and it ives you a new one. Flickchart then creates the end-all be-all of personal movie lists. With the exception of the Michael Scott worthy embarrassment I feel every time I click "I haven't seen it" on an iconic movie, it's an addictive and enlightening project.
Right now, my list is nothing short of shameful; Because of a series of unfortunate matchups, Sleepy Hollow is above Fight Club. I KNOW! That's why it's addictive! Jurassic Park isn't even ON my top 20. Do you know what Dante said happened to people who didn't have Jurassic Park in their top 20? That's right, they were forced to suffer eternity watching Battlefield Earth while Satan and/or Lucifer laughed in the background screaming, "I've seen your Flickchart! So you don't like good movies?! Then enjoy this steamy pile of Scientology's equivilent to Passion of the Christ! It's my favorite movie!"
Satan, and/or Lucifer, would of course love Battlefield Earth. Scientology is like Satan's, and/or Lucifer's, spinach. Regardless, all four of you who read this should check out Flickchart. If nothing else, it will give you a concept of how far behind you're falling in your own personal quest to see as many good movies as possible. I hadn't really considered how many amazing movies I hadn't viewed, just for lack of time or initiative. I won't tell you which ones, but by the end of my 2009 Hollywood adventure, I intend to watch the most iconic ones behind Kyle's back so he doesn't find out I haven't seen them yet.
Happy hunting!
Or, Good Will Hunting, which I rated above A.I. but below Predator.
www.flickchart.com
Because they are just starting out, and it's a large project, it could take a couple of weeks to get the invite after you send them the email. You don't even have to be patient, though. Just forget about it like I did, and then it will be like a Christmas stocking of candy and money that you forgot to open, then found on the 26th.

MacKenziesaurus Ponders the Validity of Crape Myrtle's Cafe

Another Hill-top News article for your viewing pleasure.
_____________________

In Alabama, intercorporate marriage is frowned upon. That's why we don't have Gaps that serve waffles, or Arbys that offer hair styling. It's not natural, and I'm sure somewhere there's a verse against it in the Bible. That's why the civil union formed between LittleProfessor's bookstore and Crape Myrtle's Cafe' in Homewood struck me with such wanton force. Separated by an archway of sin, the small independent LittleProfessor's, a cosy little bookstore which warrants its own review, is eternally locked in a harlequin embrace with Crape Myrtle's Cafe, an embrace adequate to send the patriarchy into coughing fits. After gazing over the menu like a little boy with a Sears catalogue, and eating the Eden's apple lain upon my plate, I assure you that the patriarchy would eat here; in fact, I saw two of them.

I had the brunch, served Sunday from 10am-3pm, sporting such ribald delicassies as Oatmeal Brulee ($9), an oatmeal with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and caramelized sugar, Huevos Rancheros ($11), two poached eggs, flour tortilla, black beans and rice, with avacado and salsa, and The Brunch Burger ($9.50), a hamburger. I, however, settled on the Smoked Trout ($13) served with sweet potato gratin, toast, and poached eggs. I ordered the coffee which, coming from a barista, was black silver. Before I could properly evaluate the coffee, and write the previous sentence, the food arrived. It was pretty; suspiciously pretty. My suspicions were confirmed. It was pretty so you wouldn't eat it, because if you did you might never leave. The sweet potato gratin was tasty, but not quite as sweet potatoey as I would have liked. The smoked trout would have made the fish's family forgive his absence if they only could have known how delicious he was. I'll write them a thank you note. My dining counterpart's response to “How's the chicken salad?” was to continue chewing and nodding a preoccupied “yes.” The chicken salad at Crape Myrtle's Cafe' is, in face, yes.

Breakfast is offered on weekdays from 6:30am to 10am, lunch from 11am to 3pm, and Tuesday-Saturday Dinner from 5:30pm.

The menus not offered to me featured:
Lunch; Jambalaya ($8.95), Chicken and Tuna salad plates ($8.95), Meatloaf ($8.95), and Grilled Ribeye Sandwich ($9.95).
Dinner; Grilled Salmon ($16.95), Frittatas ($9.95), or Hamburger Steak ($10.95). Desserts of crème brulee infused with tea ($5.95) and caramel fudge pecan pie ($5.95).

Crape Myrtle's Cafe'
located behind LittleProfessor's Bookstore
2721 18th Street South Homewood
www.cmycafe.com

MacKenziesaurus Thinks About the Spring 2009 Dance Performance

This is another article for the Hill-Top news. Some of you may have read this article, but the editor took quite a few liberties in editing and the final product was rather tame and bland. Here's the E! True Hollywood-version of the article
____________________
FREE AT LAST!

The Birmingham-Southern College Theatre and Dance departments have chosen a new poster-child in William Wallace as they cry “FREEDOM.”

Every pirouette, every arabesque, every painstakingly pointless rond de jambe a terra, has forced the exhaust of artistic desire into the campus dancing community, until it has no choice but to explode. Explode, it shall! May 2nd, Birmingham-Southern's dancing community will be free. With that freedom will come one of the most worthwhile CEIS credits of the semester; however, as the campus' dance department is prone to do, the performance will be so inspiring that the promise of credit will come as a mere afterthought, like an after dinner mint. The performance will feature ten student choreographed pieces, revealing each choreographer's artistic visions and is, according to student choreographer Jon Collins, “a platform for choreographers to comment on issues that are relevant to everyone.” Choreographers include Jon Collins, Nell Heflin, Whitney Mayfield, Liz Cochran, Lauren Hamilton, Anais Plasketes, Gowoon Koo, Ashley Andrews and guest artist Josh Henderson. Write down what you know about dance performances on a sheet of paper, then take that sheet of paper outside and burn it. The student choreographers dance gleefully upon the box after a long semester of countless plies inside of it. Anais Plasketes' piece will feature a live band, Without a Cello, and Jon Collins' will feature a live poetry reading. Dance, as goes for many of the arts, to the general academic community, is in danger of appearing to be a bunch of kids that have decided to major in a hobby, or something they just like to do. To Anais, choreographing her own piece was more than just an exercise of a pass-time, it was a way touch people, “(The essential part has been) The story telling aspect of it, having the dancers become a story that is really important to me, but can touch a lot of people in many different ways that are important to them.”
Besides the obvious benefits of encouraging and rewarding students that have worked so hard, why should you come? Jon Collins described the importance of dance and, more directly, why student choreography is so important to support, “(Dance) communicates the essence of our desires, struggles and successes in a powerful and effective way. You should come see the performance in order to experience the transcendence of dance.” It shouldn't be the CEIS credit that brings you to the concert, nor even the support of participating friends, but the hope that when you leave the theatre you'll be different, and hopefully for the better. The Birmingham-Southern Dance Department will deliver upon that hope.

Freedom is symbolic, too, to Birmingham Southern's theatre department. With two separate nights of student chosen and directed one acts, Wednesday and Thursday nights at 7:30. Wednesday night features scenes from Fast Girls, directed by Liz Garrett, Drip Torch, from Nat Bonner, The Star-Spangled Girl, from Amanda Kramer, Oleanna, from Ginny Coats, and Sure Thing, from Chris Hicks. Thursday night features scenes from The Shape of Things, from Anais Plasketes, Sophisticated Barflies, from Anna Stranlund, Long Day's Journey Into Night, from Matt Adams, The Park Bench, from Perry Strehle, and Fin and Euba, from John McGinnis. In addition to the abundance of student directors, each show features two campus actors, many of which are outside of the department. CEIS credits are offered, for those weaseling scavengers amongst you. Liz Garrett encourages the campus community to attend, “because there is such an array of emotions to experience. The two words that come to mind are 'emotional roller-coaster' and if you're into that, you'll love it. You won't predict anything for either of the nights, and revel in that not knowing.” Anais Plasketes, exercising her second bought of freedom, says the one acts are necessary because, “you may find yourself uncomfortable when the one acts question some of your beliefs, but you'll walk away with something untangle, but life changing.”
The one acts are a well-rounded assortment of comedy, tragedy, absurdity, and realism. They offer a brief view into the hearts of ten playwrights, ten directors, and twenty actors. Do the math; that's a lot of hearts to peer into for one night of theatre.

Dance Performance, May 2nd at 7:30
Theatre Performances May 6th and 7th at 7:30pm

MacKenziesaurus Ruminates upon Klingler's European Bakery and Deli

The Fatherland gets a lot of bad rep. Hitler, giant walls, tanks, angry school teachers, lederhosen, and tubas all converge on poor Deutchland to mask it's true identity behind the pox-marked post war stigmas. No longer! I stumble upon a bakery along Hwy 31 in Vestavia Hills, Klingler's European Bakery and Deli, that looks, from the outside, to be a slice of German Chocolate cake. I park and glimpse no such signs of National Socialism nor yodeling milk maids, so like Frodo into the Dead Marshes, I warily follow my hunger through the door.
Hallo, meine Katzenbabies! (sub: Hello, my kittens!) The slice of German Chocolate cake turned out to be a slice of Black Forest Cheesecake, and Rocky IV'd my tongue into a weeping mess of ecstasy. But I digress. The restaurant, minus any outdoor seating, fits 40 people if they're all right handed, and makes for a delightfully warm and cozy atmosphere. The walls are decorated with flags and paintings, many of which are for sale, and a cookoo clock; ordaining the coveted cake enclosure are beer steins and other German novelties, many of which are also for sale. As I went during brunch, only offered on Sundays, I had the fortune to receive both the breakfast and lunch menus; quite a blessing, indeed. The breakfast menu ranged between $6 and $9 and was built of Belgian waffles of all makes, cheese crepes, pancakes, French toasts, quiche, and the terrifying Farmer's Breakfast, comprised of layers of eggs and a sauce of German sausage, onions, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes and two kinds of cheese. That eggy blessing is then topped, that's right – topped, with bacon, tomato slices and more cheese, then baked. Because I didn't feel like crying over a meal as delectable as that one promised to be in front of all of the attractive waitresses, I gandered at the lunch menu.
On the 8th day, God created Sausage Platters. I regrettably bypassed the sandwiches, soups and salads, all priced between $7 and $9, to feast my guffawing pupils upon the sausage platter. This, my kittens, was a platter. On this platter, was sausage. The man in me hoorah'd. The platter also carried such companions as hot German potato salad, sauerkraut and a crusty roll. Despite my effort, there were still tears. I was surprised that I hadn't previously learned about this restaurant, and thought it my duty to scream it's name from the hill-tops. I told you about the cake, the Black Forest Cheesecake, but I dare not say anything more about its brandy soaked cherries, nor its five o'clock shadow of chocolate shavings, as this is a blog and there could be children reading. Auf weidersehen, meine Katzenbabies! Kligler's European Bakery and Deli: Open Monday-Saturday, 7am to 4pm. Sunday, 9am-2pm. Located along Hwy 31 in Vestavia Hills, across from the Rave.

MacKenziesaurus Contemplates on the Meaning of Blog

Aha! You have arrived! Pull up a chair, because I'm taking you back to 1999 when blogs were cool. This is an online receptacle for my writings. I'll never put up a rant or a meaningless, "I went to the zoo today!" post, unless it has some HILARIOUS undertone that can have some sort of greater effect. Now, come! I saved you a seat.