MacKenziesaurus Ruminates upon Klingler's European Bakery and Deli

The Fatherland gets a lot of bad rep. Hitler, giant walls, tanks, angry school teachers, lederhosen, and tubas all converge on poor Deutchland to mask it's true identity behind the pox-marked post war stigmas. No longer! I stumble upon a bakery along Hwy 31 in Vestavia Hills, Klingler's European Bakery and Deli, that looks, from the outside, to be a slice of German Chocolate cake. I park and glimpse no such signs of National Socialism nor yodeling milk maids, so like Frodo into the Dead Marshes, I warily follow my hunger through the door.
Hallo, meine Katzenbabies! (sub: Hello, my kittens!) The slice of German Chocolate cake turned out to be a slice of Black Forest Cheesecake, and Rocky IV'd my tongue into a weeping mess of ecstasy. But I digress. The restaurant, minus any outdoor seating, fits 40 people if they're all right handed, and makes for a delightfully warm and cozy atmosphere. The walls are decorated with flags and paintings, many of which are for sale, and a cookoo clock; ordaining the coveted cake enclosure are beer steins and other German novelties, many of which are also for sale. As I went during brunch, only offered on Sundays, I had the fortune to receive both the breakfast and lunch menus; quite a blessing, indeed. The breakfast menu ranged between $6 and $9 and was built of Belgian waffles of all makes, cheese crepes, pancakes, French toasts, quiche, and the terrifying Farmer's Breakfast, comprised of layers of eggs and a sauce of German sausage, onions, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes and two kinds of cheese. That eggy blessing is then topped, that's right – topped, with bacon, tomato slices and more cheese, then baked. Because I didn't feel like crying over a meal as delectable as that one promised to be in front of all of the attractive waitresses, I gandered at the lunch menu.
On the 8th day, God created Sausage Platters. I regrettably bypassed the sandwiches, soups and salads, all priced between $7 and $9, to feast my guffawing pupils upon the sausage platter. This, my kittens, was a platter. On this platter, was sausage. The man in me hoorah'd. The platter also carried such companions as hot German potato salad, sauerkraut and a crusty roll. Despite my effort, there were still tears. I was surprised that I hadn't previously learned about this restaurant, and thought it my duty to scream it's name from the hill-tops. I told you about the cake, the Black Forest Cheesecake, but I dare not say anything more about its brandy soaked cherries, nor its five o'clock shadow of chocolate shavings, as this is a blog and there could be children reading. Auf weidersehen, meine Katzenbabies! Kligler's European Bakery and Deli: Open Monday-Saturday, 7am to 4pm. Sunday, 9am-2pm. Located along Hwy 31 in Vestavia Hills, across from the Rave.