The Invention of Lying
When I lay my head on my pillow at night, I slip into a dream world in which I'm best friends with Ricky Gervais; We banter about witty things and man-hug. Tina Fey lives in that dream world as well, but I refuse to go into more detail about that. But Ricky and Tina together in the same movie? Pinch me. Not only does the Invention of Lying promise to be an overtly hysterical movie, it's refreshingly original. Mark Bellison (Ricky Gervais) lives in a Pleasantville like world where no one has ever lied, nor do they even consider it. Lying doesn't exist as a concept until Mark creates it, and then I assume the hilarity grows like our national debt. The other supporting roles offer no small incentive to cartwheel over to the Rave. Jennifer Garner took time away from polishing her Golden Globe to play co-lead and love interest, Anna. Jonah Hill (Superbad), Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development), and Rob Lowe (Google him) bring up the rear. I dare say, after I exhaust my welcome at the Dollar Theater's stimulus Tuesdays, I may write Santa and beg for a certain DVD for Christmas. Opened October 2nd
Zombieland
I swear upon my bomb-shelter full of canned food and semi-automatic weaponry that zombies will one day be reality. Until that day, I will imagine the various ways in which I, and perhaps only I, will survive the zombie outbreak. To my incredible fortune, Woody Harrelson is in a new comedy about all of those things dream of one day doing. Zombie comedies (zom-coms) first grabbed my heart with Shaun of the Dead, and now tantalize me once again with Zombieland. The premise is Woody killing zombies while sporting a southern accent. Hypothetical question: Do movies get more entertaining? Hypothetical answer: Yes, but only under rare circumstances. If you, for some absurd reason, dislike blood, shoot-em-ups, comedies, merriment, awesome or being entertained then this isn't your movie. Everyone else, by the time you read this I will have already seen it. You are welcome to ask be about how amazing it was, but you should already know. Zombieland opened October 2nd.
Where the Wild Things Are
This blurb is as serious as I'm ever going to get. Perhaps my most anticipated movie of the year; nay, of the decade. I haven't been this excited about a movie since Batman: The Dark Knight. Think about that. Where the Wild Things Are promises to be a childhood perfectly articulated. The premise is simple: A boy, Max, escapes the real world where no one understands him to visit where the Wild Things are. There he finds enormous and fascinating creatures who are rambunctious and unpredictable. They crown him king and his first official declaration is “Let the wild rumpus start!” He promises to make everyone happy. but finds it a tall order. The creatures are costumed actors, so there's no fear of glossy CGI ruining the movie. The head creature, who speaks most often to Max, is voiced by James Gandolfini (Tony Soprano in “The Sopranos”), and supported by fellow creatures Forest Whitaker, Paul Dano (Dwayne in Little Miss Sunshine) and Catherine O'Hara (voice of Sally in The Nightmare Before Christmas). I will cry during this movie, because I have cried during the trailer. It's one of the most beautiful movies I've ever been taunted with, and I'm counting down the days. Opens October 16th
Cirque du Freak: the Vampire's Assistant.
Enough is enough! I enjoy variety, and the current fascination with vampires is making the entertainment industry about as diverse as the Mid-West. Don't get me wrong, I love John C. Reilly (Step Brothers and Walk Hard) but this movie looks like it was too ambitious for its own budget. I've got a motto that I swear my bookstore Rave passes by: If its ugly in the trailer, it will be hideous in the feature. The trailer makes it seem as if they tried to pull off special effects that exceeded the movie's budget by a factor of three. The special effects are glossy and detract from any realism the movie might have had. The plot also seems like gross fan fiction from a thirty-year old super-fan of X-Men, Twilight, and Rocky Horror Picture Show, written in their parents basement. Here we have vampires that, instead of traditional vampire characteristics, have X-man-like super powers and work as circus side-show performers because of their apparent disfigurements. I don't want my vampires glittering, leaping to great heights, listening to my thoughts, drinking blood in moderation or having acid spit; I want my vampires sucking the blood of the innocent at every opportunity until someone stabs them in the heart with a splintered hunk of solid wood. I will save my money and wait patiently for a return of traditional Dracula vampires. If you're a part of the other 85% of campus who can afford to waste money, Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant opens October 23rd.
####
Friday, October 2, 2009
MacKenziesaurus Watches TV in October.
Caprica
Okay, nerd-alert. “Caprica” is a spin-off series to the greatest show of all time, “Battlestar Galactica.” It takes place a generation before “Battlestar Galactica” began, and introduces us to the creation of the cylons and eventually, one would hope, the first cylon war. We meet young versions of a few of our favorite characters from “Battlestar” and finally see, in full force, the often hinted at planetary(racial) tension. The pilot was released months ago, and the concept is delicious. Because it is a generation before its mother series, “Caprica” had to invent a way to take the viewer into the past of a futuristic series. What comes out of that mind-frack is a community reminiscent of the 1930s and complete with robots, artificial intelligence, and space travel. Much like its predecessor, “Caprica” promises to be rife with conflict pertinent to our society and telling of our cultures actions. Thank you, “Caprica,” for keeping me culturally aware while showing me pictures of robots and space ships.
Community
Ever since it's christening in 2004, I've joined Joel McHale as he captained E!'s “The Soup” and reveled in his uncanny ability to perpetually charm and entertain me. I was there for his eye-opening performance as “Bank Teller” in Spider-Man II. I cheered him on as he pulled a Lazarus for an all too brief performance on “Pushing Daisies.” But, lo, did I yearn for more; Then, I was given “Community.” Joel McHale plays a formerly successful lawyer who must return to community college because of problems with his degree. He is thrown into a world immune to his wit and, for the first time in his life, he must work for what he wants. For much of the underdog cast, this is the break they're been waiting for. One can not help but be distracted, however, by Chevy Chase's performance as a desperate, misogynistic, ex-executive who falls in guy-love with Joel McHale. Chevy and Joel make “Community” my latest and most charming homework distraction.
How I Met Your Mother
Here we have a sitcom with a producer who made a deal with the devil to secure, five years ago, some of today's most wanted men in comedy. Featuring Neal Patrick Harris (Dr. Horrible and host of the Emmys) and Jason Segel (I Love You, Man and Forgetting Sarah Marshall), “How I Met Your Mother” hit the jackpot. It's the wittiest show on TV since “Frasier” or “Seinfeld.” When was the last time you were intellectually stimulated by “Meet the Kardashians”? “How I Met Your Mother Showing Mondays on CBS, I can't break down the plot because there isn't room enough to give it justice but assure you that, much like “Seinfeld,” you can hop in on the plot when ever you feel comfortable. Take your time. Just remember one thing as you relax on Monday nights: Niel Patrick Harris.
Okay, nerd-alert. “Caprica” is a spin-off series to the greatest show of all time, “Battlestar Galactica.” It takes place a generation before “Battlestar Galactica” began, and introduces us to the creation of the cylons and eventually, one would hope, the first cylon war. We meet young versions of a few of our favorite characters from “Battlestar” and finally see, in full force, the often hinted at planetary(racial) tension. The pilot was released months ago, and the concept is delicious. Because it is a generation before its mother series, “Caprica” had to invent a way to take the viewer into the past of a futuristic series. What comes out of that mind-frack is a community reminiscent of the 1930s and complete with robots, artificial intelligence, and space travel. Much like its predecessor, “Caprica” promises to be rife with conflict pertinent to our society and telling of our cultures actions. Thank you, “Caprica,” for keeping me culturally aware while showing me pictures of robots and space ships.
Community
Ever since it's christening in 2004, I've joined Joel McHale as he captained E!'s “The Soup” and reveled in his uncanny ability to perpetually charm and entertain me. I was there for his eye-opening performance as “Bank Teller” in Spider-Man II. I cheered him on as he pulled a Lazarus for an all too brief performance on “Pushing Daisies.” But, lo, did I yearn for more; Then, I was given “Community.” Joel McHale plays a formerly successful lawyer who must return to community college because of problems with his degree. He is thrown into a world immune to his wit and, for the first time in his life, he must work for what he wants. For much of the underdog cast, this is the break they're been waiting for. One can not help but be distracted, however, by Chevy Chase's performance as a desperate, misogynistic, ex-executive who falls in guy-love with Joel McHale. Chevy and Joel make “Community” my latest and most charming homework distraction.
How I Met Your Mother
Here we have a sitcom with a producer who made a deal with the devil to secure, five years ago, some of today's most wanted men in comedy. Featuring Neal Patrick Harris (Dr. Horrible and host of the Emmys) and Jason Segel (I Love You, Man and Forgetting Sarah Marshall), “How I Met Your Mother” hit the jackpot. It's the wittiest show on TV since “Frasier” or “Seinfeld.” When was the last time you were intellectually stimulated by “Meet the Kardashians”? “How I Met Your Mother Showing Mondays on CBS, I can't break down the plot because there isn't room enough to give it justice but assure you that, much like “Seinfeld,” you can hop in on the plot when ever you feel comfortable. Take your time. Just remember one thing as you relax on Monday nights: Niel Patrick Harris.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
MacKenziesaurus Knows the Places to Be
A. Primavera
4133 White Oak Dr. Birmingham, AL
Let's be honest: If you can buy it at Walmart, it's not good coffee. Hidden behind the Summit is a coffee shop that is in a perpetual Zelda-like quest for the best coffee in the world, buying directly from bean farmers around the world and roasting the beans in store.
B. Java and Jams
321 20th Street N
Whip out the thesaurus and you'd learn that Java and Jams serves up coffee and music. The coffee is Higher Grounds, a roaster out of Leeds buying certified fair-trade coffee. Plus, what's more college than live music in a coffee shop? Nothing.
C. Urban Standard
2320 2nd Ave N
A coffee shop that is almost as quirky and hipstery as I am. Serving the most perfectly crafted lattes in Birmingham, their baristas are raised from birth with a steam wand at their fingertips. When you finish your coffee, have a red velvet cupcake. Or, have two.
D. Brannon's: A Public House
1931 3rd Avenue North
An Irish restaurant serving Breakfast and Lunch, with a different menu every day, and each dish as Irish as red hair. I won't mention the Guinness cupcakes or sticky toffee pudding, because it wouldn't be fair.
E. Rogue Tavern
2314 2nd ave N
A new addition to the Birmingham palate. Think of it like P.F. Changs as a tavern, minus ten dollars on the final tab. Yes, that includes lettuce wraps.
F. Miss Rosemarie's Special Tea Salon and Shoppe
5299 Valleydale Rd.
I would be a liar if I said I haven't had tea at Miss Rosemarie's around 5 times. Serving lunch, teatime featuring scones of the day and tea sandwiches, and dinner. You pay one big price for an assortment of finger-tasties and tea: Pinky out, y'all.
G. Pho Que Huong Vietnamese
430 Green Springs Hwy, Suite 15
The family restaurant of BSC's own Elvis Le. If you love tasty food that you can't pronounce, hop on Green Springs and you'll be catapulted into a world of noodles and smiles.
H. Sekisui Pacific Rim
1025 20th St. S
Without a doubt the greatest sushi I've ever eaten. Anywhere. Offering an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet for $12 every day for lunch, and serving the normal sushi menu weeknights until 12 and weekends until one, it doesn't get better.
I. Wine'd Down
180 Main St
Are you wine stupid? Here's a beautiful wine tasting establishment. You're welcome.
J. Golden Temple
1901 11th Ave S
Married to an organic grill and juice bar, and owned by a fellow by the name of Jack, if you want organic or fair-trade delicacies then this is your place.
K. BottleTree
3719 3rd Avenue S
Live music venue, restaurant, bar, spaceship. BottleTree is a magical land where the drinks are cheap and the punk music will incapacitate your ability to reason effectively. I mean, there's a taxidermed deer on the wall covered in sequence like a disco ball; It doesn't get more punk rock than that.
L. J. Clyde
1312 Cobb Ln.
Beer on tap that highlights, nay, only consists of American micro or import brews, well priced. A pub atmosphere serving restaurant quality food, including sweet potato fries that regularly decimate my palate. J. Clyde enjoys significant portions of my paycheck every month.
M. WorkPlay
500 23rd St S
Live music venue and recording studio, see the article on the opposite page for impending concerts.
N. Reeds Books/The Museum of Fond Memories
2021 3rd Ave N
Perhaps the most wonderful establishment on the list, Reeds looks like an old and rare book-seller. It's so much more than that, and I can't describe it except comparing it to the attic of your great-great-grandfather turned wonder emporium.
O. What's on Second?
2303 2nd Ave N.
If Reeds has too many books for your taste, what's on second is like the attic of your great-great-grandfather if he were a crazy kleptomaniac.
P. Crepe Myrtal's Cafe/Little Professor's Bookstore
2721 18th St S
One's a cafe, one's a bookstore. It's like Will and Grace that you can visit.
4133 White Oak Dr. Birmingham, AL
Let's be honest: If you can buy it at Walmart, it's not good coffee. Hidden behind the Summit is a coffee shop that is in a perpetual Zelda-like quest for the best coffee in the world, buying directly from bean farmers around the world and roasting the beans in store.
B. Java and Jams
321 20th Street N
Whip out the thesaurus and you'd learn that Java and Jams serves up coffee and music. The coffee is Higher Grounds, a roaster out of Leeds buying certified fair-trade coffee. Plus, what's more college than live music in a coffee shop? Nothing.
C. Urban Standard
2320 2nd Ave N
A coffee shop that is almost as quirky and hipstery as I am. Serving the most perfectly crafted lattes in Birmingham, their baristas are raised from birth with a steam wand at their fingertips. When you finish your coffee, have a red velvet cupcake. Or, have two.
D. Brannon's: A Public House
1931 3rd Avenue North
An Irish restaurant serving Breakfast and Lunch, with a different menu every day, and each dish as Irish as red hair. I won't mention the Guinness cupcakes or sticky toffee pudding, because it wouldn't be fair.
E. Rogue Tavern
2314 2nd ave N
A new addition to the Birmingham palate. Think of it like P.F. Changs as a tavern, minus ten dollars on the final tab. Yes, that includes lettuce wraps.
F. Miss Rosemarie's Special Tea Salon and Shoppe
5299 Valleydale Rd.
I would be a liar if I said I haven't had tea at Miss Rosemarie's around 5 times. Serving lunch, teatime featuring scones of the day and tea sandwiches, and dinner. You pay one big price for an assortment of finger-tasties and tea: Pinky out, y'all.
G. Pho Que Huong Vietnamese
430 Green Springs Hwy, Suite 15
The family restaurant of BSC's own Elvis Le. If you love tasty food that you can't pronounce, hop on Green Springs and you'll be catapulted into a world of noodles and smiles.
H. Sekisui Pacific Rim
1025 20th St. S
Without a doubt the greatest sushi I've ever eaten. Anywhere. Offering an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet for $12 every day for lunch, and serving the normal sushi menu weeknights until 12 and weekends until one, it doesn't get better.
I. Wine'd Down
180 Main St
Are you wine stupid? Here's a beautiful wine tasting establishment. You're welcome.
J. Golden Temple
1901 11th Ave S
Married to an organic grill and juice bar, and owned by a fellow by the name of Jack, if you want organic or fair-trade delicacies then this is your place.
K. BottleTree
3719 3rd Avenue S
Live music venue, restaurant, bar, spaceship. BottleTree is a magical land where the drinks are cheap and the punk music will incapacitate your ability to reason effectively. I mean, there's a taxidermed deer on the wall covered in sequence like a disco ball; It doesn't get more punk rock than that.
L. J. Clyde
1312 Cobb Ln.
Beer on tap that highlights, nay, only consists of American micro or import brews, well priced. A pub atmosphere serving restaurant quality food, including sweet potato fries that regularly decimate my palate. J. Clyde enjoys significant portions of my paycheck every month.
M. WorkPlay
500 23rd St S
Live music venue and recording studio, see the article on the opposite page for impending concerts.
N. Reeds Books/The Museum of Fond Memories
2021 3rd Ave N
Perhaps the most wonderful establishment on the list, Reeds looks like an old and rare book-seller. It's so much more than that, and I can't describe it except comparing it to the attic of your great-great-grandfather turned wonder emporium.
O. What's on Second?
2303 2nd Ave N.
If Reeds has too many books for your taste, what's on second is like the attic of your great-great-grandfather if he were a crazy kleptomaniac.
P. Crepe Myrtal's Cafe/Little Professor's Bookstore
2721 18th St S
One's a cafe, one's a bookstore. It's like Will and Grace that you can visit.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
MacKenziesaurus Ogles Pixar
Cloud - Click here for the funniest movie of the week
If you watch that video, and your heart strings remain intact, then there is something inherently wrong with you. This was the Pixar short that preceded UP! I'm an actor, so it pains me to admit that Pixar accomplishes a degree of story telling with fake cartoon people that is next to unachievable in live action movies. UP! was a life changing movie. Even this short, a mere five minutes, had more meaning than the last six movies I've seen COMBINED. Compare something like this tiny bubble of Pixar gold to a steaming pile like Twilight. I don't know about you guys, but I'd much rather my children be raised by the likes of the Pixar staff than by a vampire story that revolves around the fact that true love equals eerie obsession. Twilight is everything that's wrong with story-telling. The main character falls instantly in love with a statuesque man-god who is equally obsessed with her; They break-up and, because she can't possibly live without him, she wades around in a crippling pool of self pity and depression, rebounds to a genuinely nice guy, then tries to kill herself and is saved by the man-god who, surprise, still loves her, (Attention girls, if he breaks up with you, do not attempt to test him by attempting suicide); Man-god things girl has died, then tries to off himself as well (How romantic!); Girl becomes vampire, giving up her very soul to be with man-god, and sacrifices her family and independence and future. Ew. There is nothing appealing about that kind of love. All of those constructs are overwhelming and creepy.
I would rather my children experience the life lessons of the Pixar collection. In UP!, persistence doesn't mean attempted suicide, but continuing to pursue your dreams under insurmountable odds. My vote's for Pixar in the "movies I want to model my life after" catagory.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
MacKenziesaurus Considers the T-shirt
Los Angeles has left me broke, hungry, and still at the bottom of the acting pool. LA has taken just about everything and has, like the English King, all but instituted primae noctis. Sorry, future wife, but LA gets you first. However, whatever LA may take from me, he can never take MY LOVE OF NONSENSICAL T-SHIRTS!!! I visit a few sites almost every day and wonder at their user-designed shirts. Cool shirts are one thing, but cool shirts are usually pretty expensive, right? SURPRISE! The sites I visit can offer shirts for less than ten dollars minus shipping. Oh, okay, cheap and nonsensical t-shirts are cool and everything, but we're all familiar with those lame play-on-word shirts you see on every site so...WRONG AGAIN! These sites offer shirts that are original and only available for 24 hours. That is correct, every day a new and exclusive shirt is offered on these web-wonderkins that no one the day before, nay, nor the following days to come shall revel in. It's like being special when you really aren't very special at all.
http://shirt.woot.com/
WOOT! You can't help but love this site! New shirt every day at ten dollars a shirt with free standard shipping. This site also offers a coupon a day for various other shirt sites hidden in the interwebs. Dig in.
http://www.teefury.com/
Also offers a new shirt every day, this time for nine dollars with two dollar standard shipping. Shirts are user/artist designed with an interview with said user/artist ordaining the right hand site of the site.
http://www.uneetee.com/
Less exclusive, new design every Monday at twelve dollars a shirt and a ten dollar previous design offer that renews every day. Great designs though.
http://200nipples.com/index.php
This shirt wins the award for hilarious name and intriguing concept. Updated every three weeks or so with a new design, the site offers 100, and only 100, shirts of that design priced per number. Example, if I luck out and land shirt #5, it will cost $5 and will have the number 5 on the back. After shirt 30, this site becomes unusable because I refuse to pay that much for a shirt.
http://shirt.woot.com/
WOOT! You can't help but love this site! New shirt every day at ten dollars a shirt with free standard shipping. This site also offers a coupon a day for various other shirt sites hidden in the interwebs. Dig in.
http://www.teefury.com/
Also offers a new shirt every day, this time for nine dollars with two dollar standard shipping. Shirts are user/artist designed with an interview with said user/artist ordaining the right hand site of the site.
http://www.uneetee.com/
Less exclusive, new design every Monday at twelve dollars a shirt and a ten dollar previous design offer that renews every day. Great designs though.
http://200nipples.com/index.php
This shirt wins the award for hilarious name and intriguing concept. Updated every three weeks or so with a new design, the site offers 100, and only 100, shirts of that design priced per number. Example, if I luck out and land shirt #5, it will cost $5 and will have the number 5 on the back. After shirt 30, this site becomes unusable because I refuse to pay that much for a shirt.
Monday, July 27, 2009
MacKenziesaurus Weighs the Ins and Outs of Rating Movies
So, Tyrannosaurus Kyle pointed me on to this new site that is in it's beta testing phase called "Flickchart." Flickchart is simple: It shows you two movie posters next to each other, and you choose the movie you liked more; If you haven't seen the movie, you click the "I haven't seen it" button, and it ives you a new one. Flickchart then creates the end-all be-all of personal movie lists. With the exception of the Michael Scott worthy embarrassment I feel every time I click "I haven't seen it" on an iconic movie, it's an addictive and enlightening project.
Right now, my list is nothing short of shameful; Because of a series of unfortunate matchups, Sleepy Hollow is above Fight Club. I KNOW! That's why it's addictive! Jurassic Park isn't even ON my top 20. Do you know what Dante said happened to people who didn't have Jurassic Park in their top 20? That's right, they were forced to suffer eternity watching Battlefield Earth while Satan and/or Lucifer laughed in the background screaming, "I've seen your Flickchart! So you don't like good movies?! Then enjoy this steamy pile of Scientology's equivilent to Passion of the Christ! It's my favorite movie!"
Satan, and/or Lucifer, would of course love Battlefield Earth. Scientology is like Satan's, and/or Lucifer's, spinach. Regardless, all four of you who read this should check out Flickchart. If nothing else, it will give you a concept of how far behind you're falling in your own personal quest to see as many good movies as possible. I hadn't really considered how many amazing movies I hadn't viewed, just for lack of time or initiative. I won't tell you which ones, but by the end of my 2009 Hollywood adventure, I intend to watch the most iconic ones behind Kyle's back so he doesn't find out I haven't seen them yet.
Happy hunting!
Or, Good Will Hunting, which I rated above A.I. but below Predator.
www.flickchart.com
Because they are just starting out, and it's a large project, it could take a couple of weeks to get the invite after you send them the email. You don't even have to be patient, though. Just forget about it like I did, and then it will be like a Christmas stocking of candy and money that you forgot to open, then found on the 26th.
Right now, my list is nothing short of shameful; Because of a series of unfortunate matchups, Sleepy Hollow is above Fight Club. I KNOW! That's why it's addictive! Jurassic Park isn't even ON my top 20. Do you know what Dante said happened to people who didn't have Jurassic Park in their top 20? That's right, they were forced to suffer eternity watching Battlefield Earth while Satan and/or Lucifer laughed in the background screaming, "I've seen your Flickchart! So you don't like good movies?! Then enjoy this steamy pile of Scientology's equivilent to Passion of the Christ! It's my favorite movie!"
Satan, and/or Lucifer, would of course love Battlefield Earth. Scientology is like Satan's, and/or Lucifer's, spinach. Regardless, all four of you who read this should check out Flickchart. If nothing else, it will give you a concept of how far behind you're falling in your own personal quest to see as many good movies as possible. I hadn't really considered how many amazing movies I hadn't viewed, just for lack of time or initiative. I won't tell you which ones, but by the end of my 2009 Hollywood adventure, I intend to watch the most iconic ones behind Kyle's back so he doesn't find out I haven't seen them yet.
Happy hunting!
Or, Good Will Hunting, which I rated above A.I. but below Predator.
www.flickchart.com
Because they are just starting out, and it's a large project, it could take a couple of weeks to get the invite after you send them the email. You don't even have to be patient, though. Just forget about it like I did, and then it will be like a Christmas stocking of candy and money that you forgot to open, then found on the 26th.
MacKenziesaurus Ponders the Validity of Crape Myrtle's Cafe
Another Hill-top News article for your viewing pleasure.
_____________________
In Alabama, intercorporate marriage is frowned upon. That's why we don't have Gaps that serve waffles, or Arbys that offer hair styling. It's not natural, and I'm sure somewhere there's a verse against it in the Bible. That's why the civil union formed between LittleProfessor's bookstore and Crape Myrtle's Cafe' in Homewood struck me with such wanton force. Separated by an archway of sin, the small independent LittleProfessor's, a cosy little bookstore which warrants its own review, is eternally locked in a harlequin embrace with Crape Myrtle's Cafe, an embrace adequate to send the patriarchy into coughing fits. After gazing over the menu like a little boy with a Sears catalogue, and eating the Eden's apple lain upon my plate, I assure you that the patriarchy would eat here; in fact, I saw two of them.
I had the brunch, served Sunday from 10am-3pm, sporting such ribald delicassies as Oatmeal Brulee ($9), an oatmeal with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and caramelized sugar, Huevos Rancheros ($11), two poached eggs, flour tortilla, black beans and rice, with avacado and salsa, and The Brunch Burger ($9.50), a hamburger. I, however, settled on the Smoked Trout ($13) served with sweet potato gratin, toast, and poached eggs. I ordered the coffee which, coming from a barista, was black silver. Before I could properly evaluate the coffee, and write the previous sentence, the food arrived. It was pretty; suspiciously pretty. My suspicions were confirmed. It was pretty so you wouldn't eat it, because if you did you might never leave. The sweet potato gratin was tasty, but not quite as sweet potatoey as I would have liked. The smoked trout would have made the fish's family forgive his absence if they only could have known how delicious he was. I'll write them a thank you note. My dining counterpart's response to “How's the chicken salad?” was to continue chewing and nodding a preoccupied “yes.” The chicken salad at Crape Myrtle's Cafe' is, in face, yes.
Breakfast is offered on weekdays from 6:30am to 10am, lunch from 11am to 3pm, and Tuesday-Saturday Dinner from 5:30pm.
The menus not offered to me featured:
Lunch; Jambalaya ($8.95), Chicken and Tuna salad plates ($8.95), Meatloaf ($8.95), and Grilled Ribeye Sandwich ($9.95).
Dinner; Grilled Salmon ($16.95), Frittatas ($9.95), or Hamburger Steak ($10.95). Desserts of crème brulee infused with tea ($5.95) and caramel fudge pecan pie ($5.95).
Crape Myrtle's Cafe'
located behind LittleProfessor's Bookstore
2721 18th Street South Homewood
www.cmycafe.com
_____________________
In Alabama, intercorporate marriage is frowned upon. That's why we don't have Gaps that serve waffles, or Arbys that offer hair styling. It's not natural, and I'm sure somewhere there's a verse against it in the Bible. That's why the civil union formed between LittleProfessor's bookstore and Crape Myrtle's Cafe' in Homewood struck me with such wanton force. Separated by an archway of sin, the small independent LittleProfessor's, a cosy little bookstore which warrants its own review, is eternally locked in a harlequin embrace with Crape Myrtle's Cafe, an embrace adequate to send the patriarchy into coughing fits. After gazing over the menu like a little boy with a Sears catalogue, and eating the Eden's apple lain upon my plate, I assure you that the patriarchy would eat here; in fact, I saw two of them.
I had the brunch, served Sunday from 10am-3pm, sporting such ribald delicassies as Oatmeal Brulee ($9), an oatmeal with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and caramelized sugar, Huevos Rancheros ($11), two poached eggs, flour tortilla, black beans and rice, with avacado and salsa, and The Brunch Burger ($9.50), a hamburger. I, however, settled on the Smoked Trout ($13) served with sweet potato gratin, toast, and poached eggs. I ordered the coffee which, coming from a barista, was black silver. Before I could properly evaluate the coffee, and write the previous sentence, the food arrived. It was pretty; suspiciously pretty. My suspicions were confirmed. It was pretty so you wouldn't eat it, because if you did you might never leave. The sweet potato gratin was tasty, but not quite as sweet potatoey as I would have liked. The smoked trout would have made the fish's family forgive his absence if they only could have known how delicious he was. I'll write them a thank you note. My dining counterpart's response to “How's the chicken salad?” was to continue chewing and nodding a preoccupied “yes.” The chicken salad at Crape Myrtle's Cafe' is, in face, yes.
Breakfast is offered on weekdays from 6:30am to 10am, lunch from 11am to 3pm, and Tuesday-Saturday Dinner from 5:30pm.
The menus not offered to me featured:
Lunch; Jambalaya ($8.95), Chicken and Tuna salad plates ($8.95), Meatloaf ($8.95), and Grilled Ribeye Sandwich ($9.95).
Dinner; Grilled Salmon ($16.95), Frittatas ($9.95), or Hamburger Steak ($10.95). Desserts of crème brulee infused with tea ($5.95) and caramel fudge pecan pie ($5.95).
Crape Myrtle's Cafe'
located behind LittleProfessor's Bookstore
2721 18th Street South Homewood
www.cmycafe.com
MacKenziesaurus Thinks About the Spring 2009 Dance Performance
This is another article for the Hill-Top news. Some of you may have read this article, but the editor took quite a few liberties in editing and the final product was rather tame and bland. Here's the E! True Hollywood-version of the article
____________________
FREE AT LAST!
The Birmingham-Southern College Theatre and Dance departments have chosen a new poster-child in William Wallace as they cry “FREEDOM.”
Every pirouette, every arabesque, every painstakingly pointless rond de jambe a terra, has forced the exhaust of artistic desire into the campus dancing community, until it has no choice but to explode. Explode, it shall! May 2nd, Birmingham-Southern's dancing community will be free. With that freedom will come one of the most worthwhile CEIS credits of the semester; however, as the campus' dance department is prone to do, the performance will be so inspiring that the promise of credit will come as a mere afterthought, like an after dinner mint. The performance will feature ten student choreographed pieces, revealing each choreographer's artistic visions and is, according to student choreographer Jon Collins, “a platform for choreographers to comment on issues that are relevant to everyone.” Choreographers include Jon Collins, Nell Heflin, Whitney Mayfield, Liz Cochran, Lauren Hamilton, Anais Plasketes, Gowoon Koo, Ashley Andrews and guest artist Josh Henderson. Write down what you know about dance performances on a sheet of paper, then take that sheet of paper outside and burn it. The student choreographers dance gleefully upon the box after a long semester of countless plies inside of it. Anais Plasketes' piece will feature a live band, Without a Cello, and Jon Collins' will feature a live poetry reading. Dance, as goes for many of the arts, to the general academic community, is in danger of appearing to be a bunch of kids that have decided to major in a hobby, or something they just like to do. To Anais, choreographing her own piece was more than just an exercise of a pass-time, it was a way touch people, “(The essential part has been) The story telling aspect of it, having the dancers become a story that is really important to me, but can touch a lot of people in many different ways that are important to them.”
Besides the obvious benefits of encouraging and rewarding students that have worked so hard, why should you come? Jon Collins described the importance of dance and, more directly, why student choreography is so important to support, “(Dance) communicates the essence of our desires, struggles and successes in a powerful and effective way. You should come see the performance in order to experience the transcendence of dance.” It shouldn't be the CEIS credit that brings you to the concert, nor even the support of participating friends, but the hope that when you leave the theatre you'll be different, and hopefully for the better. The Birmingham-Southern Dance Department will deliver upon that hope.
Freedom is symbolic, too, to Birmingham Southern's theatre department. With two separate nights of student chosen and directed one acts, Wednesday and Thursday nights at 7:30. Wednesday night features scenes from Fast Girls, directed by Liz Garrett, Drip Torch, from Nat Bonner, The Star-Spangled Girl, from Amanda Kramer, Oleanna, from Ginny Coats, and Sure Thing, from Chris Hicks. Thursday night features scenes from The Shape of Things, from Anais Plasketes, Sophisticated Barflies, from Anna Stranlund, Long Day's Journey Into Night, from Matt Adams, The Park Bench, from Perry Strehle, and Fin and Euba, from John McGinnis. In addition to the abundance of student directors, each show features two campus actors, many of which are outside of the department. CEIS credits are offered, for those weaseling scavengers amongst you. Liz Garrett encourages the campus community to attend, “because there is such an array of emotions to experience. The two words that come to mind are 'emotional roller-coaster' and if you're into that, you'll love it. You won't predict anything for either of the nights, and revel in that not knowing.” Anais Plasketes, exercising her second bought of freedom, says the one acts are necessary because, “you may find yourself uncomfortable when the one acts question some of your beliefs, but you'll walk away with something untangle, but life changing.”
The one acts are a well-rounded assortment of comedy, tragedy, absurdity, and realism. They offer a brief view into the hearts of ten playwrights, ten directors, and twenty actors. Do the math; that's a lot of hearts to peer into for one night of theatre.
Dance Performance, May 2nd at 7:30
Theatre Performances May 6th and 7th at 7:30pm
____________________
FREE AT LAST!
The Birmingham-Southern College Theatre and Dance departments have chosen a new poster-child in William Wallace as they cry “FREEDOM.”
Every pirouette, every arabesque, every painstakingly pointless rond de jambe a terra, has forced the exhaust of artistic desire into the campus dancing community, until it has no choice but to explode. Explode, it shall! May 2nd, Birmingham-Southern's dancing community will be free. With that freedom will come one of the most worthwhile CEIS credits of the semester; however, as the campus' dance department is prone to do, the performance will be so inspiring that the promise of credit will come as a mere afterthought, like an after dinner mint. The performance will feature ten student choreographed pieces, revealing each choreographer's artistic visions and is, according to student choreographer Jon Collins, “a platform for choreographers to comment on issues that are relevant to everyone.” Choreographers include Jon Collins, Nell Heflin, Whitney Mayfield, Liz Cochran, Lauren Hamilton, Anais Plasketes, Gowoon Koo, Ashley Andrews and guest artist Josh Henderson. Write down what you know about dance performances on a sheet of paper, then take that sheet of paper outside and burn it. The student choreographers dance gleefully upon the box after a long semester of countless plies inside of it. Anais Plasketes' piece will feature a live band, Without a Cello, and Jon Collins' will feature a live poetry reading. Dance, as goes for many of the arts, to the general academic community, is in danger of appearing to be a bunch of kids that have decided to major in a hobby, or something they just like to do. To Anais, choreographing her own piece was more than just an exercise of a pass-time, it was a way touch people, “(The essential part has been) The story telling aspect of it, having the dancers become a story that is really important to me, but can touch a lot of people in many different ways that are important to them.”
Besides the obvious benefits of encouraging and rewarding students that have worked so hard, why should you come? Jon Collins described the importance of dance and, more directly, why student choreography is so important to support, “(Dance) communicates the essence of our desires, struggles and successes in a powerful and effective way. You should come see the performance in order to experience the transcendence of dance.” It shouldn't be the CEIS credit that brings you to the concert, nor even the support of participating friends, but the hope that when you leave the theatre you'll be different, and hopefully for the better. The Birmingham-Southern Dance Department will deliver upon that hope.
Freedom is symbolic, too, to Birmingham Southern's theatre department. With two separate nights of student chosen and directed one acts, Wednesday and Thursday nights at 7:30. Wednesday night features scenes from Fast Girls, directed by Liz Garrett, Drip Torch, from Nat Bonner, The Star-Spangled Girl, from Amanda Kramer, Oleanna, from Ginny Coats, and Sure Thing, from Chris Hicks. Thursday night features scenes from The Shape of Things, from Anais Plasketes, Sophisticated Barflies, from Anna Stranlund, Long Day's Journey Into Night, from Matt Adams, The Park Bench, from Perry Strehle, and Fin and Euba, from John McGinnis. In addition to the abundance of student directors, each show features two campus actors, many of which are outside of the department. CEIS credits are offered, for those weaseling scavengers amongst you. Liz Garrett encourages the campus community to attend, “because there is such an array of emotions to experience. The two words that come to mind are 'emotional roller-coaster' and if you're into that, you'll love it. You won't predict anything for either of the nights, and revel in that not knowing.” Anais Plasketes, exercising her second bought of freedom, says the one acts are necessary because, “you may find yourself uncomfortable when the one acts question some of your beliefs, but you'll walk away with something untangle, but life changing.”
The one acts are a well-rounded assortment of comedy, tragedy, absurdity, and realism. They offer a brief view into the hearts of ten playwrights, ten directors, and twenty actors. Do the math; that's a lot of hearts to peer into for one night of theatre.
Dance Performance, May 2nd at 7:30
Theatre Performances May 6th and 7th at 7:30pm
MacKenziesaurus Ruminates upon Klingler's European Bakery and Deli
The Fatherland gets a lot of bad rep. Hitler, giant walls, tanks, angry school teachers, lederhosen, and tubas all converge on poor Deutchland to mask it's true identity behind the pox-marked post war stigmas. No longer! I stumble upon a bakery along Hwy 31 in Vestavia Hills, Klingler's European Bakery and Deli, that looks, from the outside, to be a slice of German Chocolate cake. I park and glimpse no such signs of National Socialism nor yodeling milk maids, so like Frodo into the Dead Marshes, I warily follow my hunger through the door.
Hallo, meine Katzenbabies! (sub: Hello, my kittens!) The slice of German Chocolate cake turned out to be a slice of Black Forest Cheesecake, and Rocky IV'd my tongue into a weeping mess of ecstasy. But I digress. The restaurant, minus any outdoor seating, fits 40 people if they're all right handed, and makes for a delightfully warm and cozy atmosphere. The walls are decorated with flags and paintings, many of which are for sale, and a cookoo clock; ordaining the coveted cake enclosure are beer steins and other German novelties, many of which are also for sale. As I went during brunch, only offered on Sundays, I had the fortune to receive both the breakfast and lunch menus; quite a blessing, indeed. The breakfast menu ranged between $6 and $9 and was built of Belgian waffles of all makes, cheese crepes, pancakes, French toasts, quiche, and the terrifying Farmer's Breakfast, comprised of layers of eggs and a sauce of German sausage, onions, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes and two kinds of cheese. That eggy blessing is then topped, that's right – topped, with bacon, tomato slices and more cheese, then baked. Because I didn't feel like crying over a meal as delectable as that one promised to be in front of all of the attractive waitresses, I gandered at the lunch menu.
On the 8th day, God created Sausage Platters. I regrettably bypassed the sandwiches, soups and salads, all priced between $7 and $9, to feast my guffawing pupils upon the sausage platter. This, my kittens, was a platter. On this platter, was sausage. The man in me hoorah'd. The platter also carried such companions as hot German potato salad, sauerkraut and a crusty roll. Despite my effort, there were still tears. I was surprised that I hadn't previously learned about this restaurant, and thought it my duty to scream it's name from the hill-tops. I told you about the cake, the Black Forest Cheesecake, but I dare not say anything more about its brandy soaked cherries, nor its five o'clock shadow of chocolate shavings, as this is a blog and there could be children reading. Auf weidersehen, meine Katzenbabies! Kligler's European Bakery and Deli: Open Monday-Saturday, 7am to 4pm. Sunday, 9am-2pm. Located along Hwy 31 in Vestavia Hills, across from the Rave.
Hallo, meine Katzenbabies! (sub: Hello, my kittens!) The slice of German Chocolate cake turned out to be a slice of Black Forest Cheesecake, and Rocky IV'd my tongue into a weeping mess of ecstasy. But I digress. The restaurant, minus any outdoor seating, fits 40 people if they're all right handed, and makes for a delightfully warm and cozy atmosphere. The walls are decorated with flags and paintings, many of which are for sale, and a cookoo clock; ordaining the coveted cake enclosure are beer steins and other German novelties, many of which are also for sale. As I went during brunch, only offered on Sundays, I had the fortune to receive both the breakfast and lunch menus; quite a blessing, indeed. The breakfast menu ranged between $6 and $9 and was built of Belgian waffles of all makes, cheese crepes, pancakes, French toasts, quiche, and the terrifying Farmer's Breakfast, comprised of layers of eggs and a sauce of German sausage, onions, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes and two kinds of cheese. That eggy blessing is then topped, that's right – topped, with bacon, tomato slices and more cheese, then baked. Because I didn't feel like crying over a meal as delectable as that one promised to be in front of all of the attractive waitresses, I gandered at the lunch menu.
On the 8th day, God created Sausage Platters. I regrettably bypassed the sandwiches, soups and salads, all priced between $7 and $9, to feast my guffawing pupils upon the sausage platter. This, my kittens, was a platter. On this platter, was sausage. The man in me hoorah'd. The platter also carried such companions as hot German potato salad, sauerkraut and a crusty roll. Despite my effort, there were still tears. I was surprised that I hadn't previously learned about this restaurant, and thought it my duty to scream it's name from the hill-tops. I told you about the cake, the Black Forest Cheesecake, but I dare not say anything more about its brandy soaked cherries, nor its five o'clock shadow of chocolate shavings, as this is a blog and there could be children reading. Auf weidersehen, meine Katzenbabies! Kligler's European Bakery and Deli: Open Monday-Saturday, 7am to 4pm. Sunday, 9am-2pm. Located along Hwy 31 in Vestavia Hills, across from the Rave.
MacKenziesaurus Contemplates on the Meaning of Blog
Aha! You have arrived! Pull up a chair, because I'm taking you back to 1999 when blogs were cool. This is an online receptacle for my writings. I'll never put up a rant or a meaningless, "I went to the zoo today!" post, unless it has some HILARIOUS undertone that can have some sort of greater effect. Now, come! I saved you a seat.
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